APUSH Journal #8/#9: The "American Dream" Is No Longer a Reality

The “American Dream”, which I previously had so much faith in, seems to be more and more just that, a dream. The “American Dream” still exists, it is definitely attainable – but less so than before.

Many of the articles I read actually argued that the mobility rate in the U.S. economy is the same as it always was, just that there are huge amounts of inequality and the middle class is disappearing. That to me though, contradicts itself, as those same articles state that the middle class is the class that moves the most and “a thinner middle class… means fewer stepping stones available to people born into low-income families”.¹ With such a wide gap between the rich and poor and less and less in between, how can we expect people to move up in the world? Michael M. Phillips writes, “in any 10-year period, roughly 60% of Americans change rungs on the ladder, some moving up and some moving down”.² Yet, with the middle class in decline, this socio-economic “ladder” referred to in nearly every article seems to have only a few rungs at the bottom and a few rungs at the top, leaving a huge space in between. People can easily fall down, but to get up you really need to be able to jump. With a dwindling middle class, getting to the top is harder than ever.

Data from the U.S. Census Bureau’s Current Population Survey showed that from 1994 to 2007 “the “disappearing” middle class continued to “disappear” into higher tax brackets”, A.K.A. they made more money.³ This I find hard to believe though, as the median income declined from 1999 to 2009.¹ According to the U.S. Census Bureau, by far most people had an income of over $100,000- if that is true, then how come in 2007 the bottom 90% had an average income of only $32,000?⁴ Especially with the recent Great Recession, I think it is more obvious then ever that the middle class is falling down the ladder, not going up.

According to the Economic Mobility Project, people are more likely to gain income than loose income over two and ten year periods, and when people do experience income loss, it’s about a 50% chance that they will recover in a few years. Well, looking at this “glass half empty”, 34% did not recover after 10 years for short-term income drops, and 49% did not recover after 10 years for a long-term income drop. Even after recovery, the article states, “they may not be as well off as when they started…because the same percentage drop and subsequent gain do not lead to a full recovery”, and those who experienced a large 10 year income drop but then recovered still had incomes lower than their peers.⁵ Once people are hit, it’s hard to recover, let alone improve from what you had before. Not to mention, that data was taken from 1967-2004, beforethe 2007 recession, so I’m sure in the past couple years this information has changed dramatically; there is no way people are more likely to gain income than loose income in our current economy. In the past couple years, our economy has been anything but upwardly mobile.

To most Americans, income inequality is not a huge issue because they believe that everyone has an equal opportunity to change their circumstances. I really don’t believe this is the case though, and I blame it mostly on education. “The return on education has risen in recent decades”, yet not all K-12 schools are equal in quality and the cost of higher education is rising at incredible rates. In this economy, where low-skill jobs are being replaced by technology or going overseas, not even college is good enough, to really get job protection, you need graduate school as well, says Don Peck.¹ Well if higher education is the answer, why do college graduates make up only 30% of the population and 58% of the adult population only have a high school diploma? Most reasons point to their socio-economic class: to be successful, you must already be successful. The community you can afford to live in dictates how good the schools are that your children get to attend, being surrounded by others in your “class” influences that education (if it’s valued or not) and if they continue their education (if it’s expected or not), and finally, your economic success or struggle decides whether or not you can afford to wait a few years before entering the work force, the resources helpful to getting into college (paying for tutors, tests, application fees, etc.), and, of course, college itself. The “American Dream” is not free, and the sad truth is that the poor can’t “get the education they need to get into occupations that would allow them to move ahead”. In the United States “the link between parents’ earnings and children’s economic attainment was the strongest”, along with the United Kingdom, out of the eight most industrialized countries.⁶ Our “American Dream” is more of a reality in other countries. Also, many of the best colleges have “legacy” admissions, which basically gives more opportunity to those who come from “successful” backgrounds and less to those who have not (if you believe there’s an “informal quota system”). Without parents who went to college, you are already at a disadvantage.

So is the American economy as upwardly mobile as people believe it to be? Especially coming out of a recession, with poverty, unemployment, and college tuition on the rise, I strongly believe the answer is no. With the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer, it’s becoming more and more difficult for the people on the bottom to afford the tools necessary to even get the opportunity to get on the top. And even if their goal is not to get to the top, as Bryan Caplan says, “incomes differ because priorities differ”, I’m sure their goal was not to be at the bottom either.⁷ That’s like saying since they don’t care about being rich, they like being poor- no one wants to spend their life struggling. That seems to be the case though, as for those few that do move up or down the ladder, most of them spent 80% of their lives where they started.² And as for future generations changing their position, “it takes an average of 6 generations for wealthy families’ economic advantage to stop influencing the economic status of their children” and 22% of sons who’s father is in the bottom tenth of the income distribution stay in the bottom tenth later in life.⁶ The U.S. economy is still in a bad state right now, so with poverty so widespread it is difficult to think that it is possible to move up. Your parent’s economic situation seems to dictate how difficult or easy it will be to attain the “American Dream”, which is not what the “American Dream” is suppose to be about at all. 

¹ = “Can the Middle Class Be Saved?” by Don Peck

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/09/can-the-middle-class-be-saved/8600/2/?single_page=true

² = “The Outlook: Inequality May Grow for Lifetime Earnings” by Michael M. Phillips

http://pages.stern.nyu.edu/~nroubini/NYT/ICODIWSJ.HTM

³ = “A Goy and His Blog”

            http://www.agoyandhisblog.com/2010/03/26/every-picture-tells-a-story-dont-it/

⁴ = Visualizing Economics (In-Class Sheet)

⁵ = “Ups and Downs: Americans’ prospects for recovery after an income loss”

http://www.economicmobility.org/assets/pdfs/EMP_Ups_and_Downs_FactSheet.pdf

⁶ = “Is Upward Mobility Still Possible?” by Marcia Clemmitt

http://mr-banno-digital-classroom-page.wikispaces.com/file/view/Income+Inequality.pdf

⁷ = “Kahneman, Greed and Success” by Bryan Caplan

            http://econlog.econlib.org/archives/2012/01/kahneman_greed.html

LC Honors Project #3 Term 2: The Discovery Assignment

Discoveries and How They Made Me Feel (by week):

**There were WAY more tiny, unimportant observations, but I decided to just give you the good ones that really made me think in order to save myself a lot of writing and you a lot of reading!

January 1-7, 2012

-I realized the first day of the new year feels different because people want it to; there's a sense of hope for the future in the air, people are trying to make changes in their lives, become better people, and they are most motivated to on new years day -- yet soon that fades and people fall back into their old ways for the most part. That might make me sound pessimistic, but it actually made me feel good about people- even though every year they normally don't change what they set out to, every year people try again anyways!

-I saw a man and his daughter walking down the side walk hand in hand, she was tiny so her arm was straight up in order to hold on to his hand, they were both all bundled up in winter gear, and they just looked happy! I don't know why it seemed so special, but it was just really cute- definitely an uplifting feeling.

-Ever since I started driving I've been blasting music everywhere I go in my car- like really blasting- and I finally realized that although the song is wicked important as well, it just makes me feel so good when I can feel the car vibrating to the beat! (It's like what we learned about during our music unit with the woman who can hear music by feeling it!) That's another reason I love concerts too, because the entire floor starts to vibrate and you can feel it resonate through your entire body! It's just an incredible feeling to feel at one with the music! Definitely a "good to be alive" feeling- especially if the beats good, then I just feel on top of the world.

-The woman I work with started telling me all about her life (which is literally horrible...) and in that one conversation (or really just her talking to me) I learned so many things. 1) Sometimes the best way to help someone is just to listen. I barely said a word that whole time, yet she seemed to like just letting it out and appreciated my attention. Before I never really knew what to say in that situation, when someone tells you something really terrible, but now I know that you really don't have to say anything, you can just be there. 2) She taught me the term "radical acceptance": if you can't change a situation, if you can truly accept it, you will be able to be happy again. If something is out of your control, there's no point in letting it upset you, you just have to move on. I was completely inspired by that. 3) Everyone has a story. Pretty cliché, I know, but just everything she told me surprised me so much- there is just so much you can't know about a person just from being acquaintances with them- you may think you know the gist of them, but you really know nothing. That entire encounter was just a huge surprise to me.

-I saw this couple walking together hand in hand, and let's just say that neither of them were the most attractive looking people, but the way they looked at each other was- oh my god, I can't even describe it! It just looked like love- like they were perfect for each other! I melted inside! It made me feel hopeful- there's someone for everyone!

-At lunch I saw a group of friends dying of laughter- which I normally find fairly obnoxious- but it wasn’t forced at all, it was real- the kind that sort of makes you want to laugh too instead of want to cover your ears. It was just genuine laughter, and it was nice just taking it in.

-After school I heard one of the janitors singing to himself and I almost died it was so cute! It just made me smile- I love hearing people hum or sing to themselves when they don’t think anyone’s around! Those moments just really show a person’s true self.

-I saw two people running underneath the same umbrella- which isn’t that special, but for some reason it just seemed really nice. And ever notice how if people are sharing an umbrella, the person holding it will always hold it more over the other person? If you’re the one holding the umbrella, for some reason we feel a responsibility to keep the other person dry more than ourselves. There’s hope for the human race yet.

-For this project I decided to start reading all the graffiti written on desks and in the bathroom stalls whenever I got the chance. Most were just weird or negative things, but then I found this one message written in pencil in the tiniest handwriting: “don’t worry, it really does get better” on one of the doors in one of the girls’ bathrooms. Definitely made me feel hopeful that there is a better life outside of high school!

-Driving home from somewhere one night I saw maybe five deer in someone’s yard, and I slowed down to watch them. Then it dawned on me that this isn’t that exciting, there’s deer all over the place, why do I find this fascinating?- but then it dawned on me that we sort of forget sometimes that we share our land with animals; even living in our little suburban town the land we claim to “own” is really the animals’ too! We feel like we’re very separate, but we’re not at all! I guess I would categorize this as “surprised”, but it was more just an observation.

-Saw/heard someone laughing on their cell phone hysterically, and for some reason I really wanted to know what the other person had said! The person didn’t seem to care that he was being really loud, but not in an obnoxious way, it was just very unrestrained laughter! Witnessing it just made me happy.

January 8-14, 2012

-I realized that whenever strangers are awkwardly walking past each other on the sidewalk and one of them has a dog, the other person will walk past smiling at the dog! I even do this, and it’s just weird when you think about it! This made me laugh to myself when I noticed this, so I guess this would fall under “good to be alive”- but really it’s just a little something we all have done at one point, but have never realized how ridiculous it is!

-One morning I saw ducks swimming in the lake, and the next morning I saw geese walking on the lake! It was just kind of funny/nice to see them waddling around the ice in this giant group, almost like they were just suspended over the water. I was in a bad mood that morning because it was freezing and I had to walk all the way from my car to the school, but when I saw that I actually felt a little better-- like the day might get a little better.

-In math this kid didn’t think anyone was looking at him and was blowing this windmill looking thing he made out of paper on his pencil for like ten straight minutes- he was just so focused on it! Just seeing people when they’re doing their own thing is normally both really funny and very informing- and also relatable! We all do weird things like that, and it just makes me smile!

-Walking through the 700’s I never really paid attention to the art on the walls, but lately I started to- and some people are really talented! I’m a fairly creative person, but I never get the chance to try cool art projects like that because I’m not in any art classes and I just haven’t made the time for it on my own- but seeing all their work definitely inspires me to try to make time for it. I miss mandatory art class more than recess!

-Driving to school one morning, the sun was still rising and there was an extremely thin layer of snow on the ground, so everything turned golden because of the angle of the light, and it was just so beautiful! I could barely see anything, so it wasn’t the greatest for driving, but it was just a gorgeous winter morning and a good song was playing on the radio, so I was just put in the best mood!

-At the small ensembles concert I didn’t think my friends were actually coming, since they had tons of homework and it was only for two a cappella songs, but they came and brought other people- which not only surprised me, but also showed me how much they love and support me – which I wouldn’t have noticed (until, I guess, the next day when they would have told me) unless I wasn’t trying to be more observant and look at the expressions on peoples faces in the crowd!

-After looking at some more doodles on my desk in Chinese I remembered that there was actual graffiti on buildings in the center that I remember saying something really deep but couldn’t remember. Well I went and looked at the wall and it says “TAKE OUT YOUR I.V. AND LIVE” which seemed both paradoxical and inspiring in a way I guess. On the another wall it read “STOP VANDALISM” which I actually laughed out loud for. Kind of made me want to graffiti something just so that someone random like me could read it…

-In Dunkin Donuts this little baby was being held by its mother facing backwards and it just kept waving and smiling at this random old guy, and I almost died it was so cute! It wasn’t the baby that got me, it was the old man! He just looked so happy! Which made me happy!

-Saw a random couple walking down the hallway, and they weren’t like PDA or anything, they just seemed like naturally comfortable with each other, very relaxed, but cute, and when they parted to go to their classes instead of kissing in the middle of the hallway, I noticed that they just squeezed each other’s hand- very subtle and adorable!

-I never really noticed before how my friend talks to his dogs like they’re real people- he doesn’t change his voice at all or anything, it’s like he’s having a legit conversation with them! And he swears that they understand because of his tone of voice! It just made me smile.

-I saw my youngest sister listening to music on her headphones and she seemed so into it and just tranquil- it was weird for an eleven year old… She just seemed so mature, like she was actually appreciating the music- and she had no idea I was there. She reminded me a lot of myself actually, it was really strange. Walking in on that was very surprising.

-My sister had just gotten her semi dress and as soon as she came home she wanted to show me. When she looked at me it was like she was crossing her fingers for a good response- and then I realized how much my opinion mattered to her (which my mom has been telling me forever in order to make me be nicer to her, but I’ve never listened to). I just had never really noticed before how much of an impact what I say probably has on her. I guess, in a way, this was love impacting me- it made me want to watch what I say to her a little more.

I’ve always thought I was a pretty observant person; I didn’t have to change much to do this project, but I did do extra little things like reading desks or paying closer attention to people’s faces for their reactions. I definitely like being more mindful of things like this and paying attention to the details. Seeing little happy moments like some of the ones I listed is like a simple pleasure- you just look for it, and you find it. I feel that the best way to get out of a bad mood is to look for something expected and turn it into something unexpected, which is not difficult to stumble upon at all. If you take a closer look at things instead of just passing them off as unimportant, normal, or ordinary, you find that average days start to become less mundane because you’re placing greater value on things you usually would not think twice about. When I would notice things that really made me think or made me appreciate something I normally wouldn’t, I definitely felt more connected with my surroundings, more in tune. Instead of just going through your day letting things pass you by, you take in those moments and make them matter.

In almost every one I listed, I said how they made me smile or made me happy for a quick moment, but for most of them I really don’t understand fully why. In the movie “As Good As It Gets”, Simon said, “If you stare at someone long enough, you discover their humanity”, and that’s the best reason I have to offer. Those tiny moments you catch someone in the natural state are just really nice. And for that reason, the discovery that had the biggest impact on me was probably the janitor singing to himself. I can’t even describe how happy and “good to be alive” that made me feel for just that split second. It was unbelievably adorable- I just wanted to run over and give him a hug! Most of mine were very similar to that, but this one stood out for some reason.

As for “seeing something new in the old”, “learn[ing] to notice what others ignore”, and “develop[ing] curiosity about the extraordinary in the ordinary”, I felt like before this project I already sort of did that, but with this, my abilities have gotten stronger. A lot of times I would notice those little happy instances I listed, but never thought about why they made me happy- which turned out was pretty hard to define. I definitely have time for the unexpected, because these discoveries take only really a few seconds if you are capable of looking for them- what makes them great is that they’re simple and only require focus, not really time. Searching for these discoveries is easy, yet it really does bring those quick flashes of contentment. Seeing someone else smile can actually be a pick-me-up if you give it the attention it deserves! 

LC Honors Project #2 Term 2: Altruism as Human Nature

Pro-Social Behavior and Categories (by week):

January 1-7, 2012

-CNN named its 2011 Hero of the Year as Robin Lim, a midwife who helped thousands of low-income women have healthy pregnancies and births [Philanthropy, Heroism]

-At school, Erica and her friends are selling cookies to raise money for her breast cancer walk [Philanthropy]

-Singer/Actress Katharine McPhee became a spokesperson for Malaria No More [Philanthropy]

-Justin Churchman, a boy who decided to build 18 houses in Mexico for people who needed it by the time he was 18, completed his goal [Volunteerism, Philanthropy]

-Every year after Christmas break my mom makes us go through our clothes and donate anything we don’t wear anymore to Salvation Army [Philanthropy, Kindness]

-Two years after the devastating earthquake in Haiti, they still have a ways to go, yet people are still there helping [Volunteerism, Compassion, Heroism]

-Payal and Raichel are planning a volleyball tournament fundraiser for NHS [Volunteerism]

-NHS students tutor other kids for free during their Eagle Blocks [Volunteerism, Kindness]

-YUGA is planning a fundraiser for Heifer International and Child Soldiers International [Philanthropy]

-(I don’t know how recent this was but…) Drew Barrymore is a World Food Programme Ambassador Against Hunger and traveled to Africa to help directly

-Jenny sells cookies everyday in school to raise money for her service trip to Peru [Volunteerism, Philanthropy]

-The woman at town hall waved everyone’s parking ticket who got one at the boating launch if we promised not to park there again because she thought it was dumb since the lake was frozen [Kindness]

-Actress Amanda Holden became a Make-a-Wish Foundation Ambassador [Philanthropy]

-My camp friend told me about her NHS bake sale fundraiser for a local homeless shelter [Volunteerism]

-Our neighbors adopted a dog from the MSPCA Animal Shelter [Compassion]

-Seth created a student-run project called Food for Thought to fight hunger locally and show teenagers their potential to make change [Philanthropy, Compassion]

-NHS is holding a clothing and toiletries drive for a homeless shelter [Philanthropy]

-KT Tunstall has a concert to celebrate WWF’s Earth Hour 2012 [Philanthropy]

-My parents sponsor two children and their families in Mali [Philanthropy, Compassion]

-Selena Gomez announced her second annual charity concert for UNICEF [Philanthropy]

-Kim Kardashian auctioned off her used clothes for the Dream Foundation [Philanthropy]

-Michelle Obama is featured on an episode of the Nickelodeon show iCarly to support military families [Compassion]

-British TV presenter Helen Skelton set off on her expedition to be the first to bike to the South Pole for a charity called Sport Relief [Philanthropy]

-Raichel volunteers at the Main Spring House once a month [Volunteerism]

-A charity called Smile Train performed its 250,000^th cleft repair in China [Philanthropy]

-The church I work at funds a school in Ghana and the kids send letters to the students there [Philanthropy, Compassion]

January 8-14, 2012

-Teen actor Jordan Van Vranken hosted her second annual Bowl-A-Thon to raise money for the Ronal McDonald House [Philanthropy]

-As I said in my Random Acts of Kindness Log, I saw a girl pick up a piece of trash and throw it away on her way to her car in a parking lot [Philanthropy]

-A woman in Dedham is a repeat blood donor after she needed it herself [Philanthropy]

-Singer JoJo teamed up with AT&T’s It Can Wait Campaign to help stop texting and driving [Philanthropy]

-A girl in Framingham who used to battle depression is now trying to help other teens who are facing the same things [Compassion, Philanthropy]

-The Abundant Table Club holds bake sales after school to raise money to help feed the hungry [Volunteerism, Philanthropy]

-Payal volunteers at a hospital every week [Volunteerism, Compassion]

-LeBron James is an a PSA about highlighting the dropout crisis in America and encouraging adults to motivate and push their students [Philanthropy]

-A woman is honored for donating 100 gallons of blood [Philanthropy]

-Many people on Facebook shared a video for Human Trafficking Awareness Day [Philanthropy]

-A man saved his dog that had fallen through the ice in a pond [Heroic Act]

-A man moved out of his house into a makeshift tent in his backyard so that there would be more room for his dogs (he took in more than 40 strays) [Compassion]

-VISIONS club is planning a Cultural Buffet to benefit the World Food Programme [Philanthropy]

-A guy found out he had inoperable cancer, so he proposed to his girlfriend and they got married in the hospital; staff members decorated the room and helped coordinate the event for them [Compassion]

-Students from the genocide course held an awareness meeting for the genocide in Darfur [Philanthropy, Compassion]

-Clayton Kershaw and his wife created an orphanage in Zambia [Philanthropy, Compassion]

-Photography Club sells cards and calendars to raise money for Hope in Bloom (creates gardens for breast cancer patients) [Volunteerism, Compassion]

-A man in Utah got his class ring returned to him after he lost it 45 years ago from strangers through facebook [Kindness]

-My friend’s mom is a regular volunteer at a food bank [Volunteerism, Philanthropy]

-A cop tried to save a boys life by giving him CPR [Heroism]

-Avicii is on a “House for Hunger” Tour with Feeding America [Philanthropy]

-My aunt is training to do the Avon Breast Cancery Walk [Philanthropy]

-Woman created a school for children of sex workers who are discriminated against [Philanthropy]

-The Sharon Public Library is hosting a “Read Away Illiteracy” event [Philanthropy]

-Singer Morrissey joined the No Cruel Cosmetics campaign to end animal testing for cosmetics sold in the EU [Philanthropy]

At first these seemed easy to find, Sharon High School seems to be full of people who want to make a difference- or it least want community service hours to put on their college application- but then I realized I didn’t have nearly enough. Finding them in the news took some serious Googling; good news just isn’t good news. People don’t want to hear about that stuff, they want the more interesting and scandalous stories; they want to hear about what’s wrong in the world, not what’s going right. Finally I stumbled upon http://www.looktothestars.org/ which has all the charitable things celebrities are doing, which helped tremendously. It least when they do something, it gets written about.

A lot of the motivations for these things I questioned though. As I said earlier, most Sharon High School students (definitely not all though) just want to be able to say that they volunteered a lot on their resume, and celebrities might be (although we’ll never actually know) just be doing it for the good publicity. Because of my stance on the whole altruism versus egoism debate, the rest I’m sure had incredibly good intentions, but in the end I also believe they were doing it for themselves because they wanted that “good feeling” that you get from helping someone. It is by no means selfish, but it can’t be labeled pure altruism either. They volunteered or donated or helped someone because it would benefit other people’s lives as well as their own.

Humans are essentially selfish- but due to kin selection, they rely on each other for survival, and thus the well being of other humans is essential to our own well being. To help ourselves, we have to help others- that’s just the way it works!But on a smaller level, most of the things I listed did not help their own survival; they did them because they wanted to. A genocide taking place on a completely different continent doesn’t affect us whatsoever, yet people feel like it is their responsibility to help. Those are the people that have spread what their “kin circle” to include not just their close family and friends, but everyone. People who don’t help I think just don’t have a wide enough “kin circle”!

These all made positive impacts because whether they raised a lot of money or only made a slight difference, it was a start and only leads to more. It is proven that kindness spreads just as much as negative emotions/behaviors, so even attempting to help will inspire others to help too! For example, the person that left the biggest impression on me, was Justin Churchman, a boy who decided to build 18 houses by the time he was 18. [video: http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestoftv/2012/01/03/cnnheroes-churchman.cnn] A lot of people don’t think they have the power to help at this age, but he is proof that age doesn’t really matter. This definitely inspires me to make a difference- not starting when I get older- but now. This pro-social behavior that he exhibited could really be labeled as any and all of the six things we had to categorize them under. Almost every single thing I listed easily fell under more than one category because they are all so closely related, and to think that all of those spread so easily, it definitely gives me hope for mankind. 

LC Honors Project #1 Term 2: RAKS

Random Acts of Kindness --> Reactions Observed (by week):

November 13-19, 2011

-In English multiple people offered to get other people sitting near them laptops from the cart --> bunch of “oh, thanks”

-Let Marti pass in front of me when leaving a classroom --> big smile and thank you

-Sister brought me and my other sister a snack since she didn’t have any homework to do --> a joking “okay…what do you want?”

-You saw me sitting in the library alone and asked me if I was okay, then later saw you ask Dionne if she was alright too --> really appreciated that

-Raichel took everyone’s Chinese sheet up to the teacher for them --> small “thanks”

-Dewey let me pass first when leaving a classroom

-Raichel (a newly licensed driver) told me that she tries to let one person pass in front of her everyday

-Saw a bunch of random people hold open the door for someone behind them in the mornings (multiple times each morning)
-Kids were trying to cross the street to get to school in the morning and when they were half way across a car sped up instead of slowing down in order to get through before they passed --> one of the students had to stop abruptly and gave a weird look to her friend as if to say "well that was rude and dangerous"!

November 20-26, 2011

-I literally saw a chain of people going to church holding the door open for the next person - it never shut!

-A man on the subway gave up his seat for an elderly woman --> nice smile and thank you

-Payal, Raichel, and I gave money to a musician on the street --> got an appreciative nod

-A guy was just feeding the swans for no reason

-At Occupy Boston saw people cooperating to bring supplies like water to all the tents

**At Occupy Boston on the sidewalk they had all these questions written and one was “How would you change the world?” and I wrote “one random act of kindness at a time!” in honor of this project J

-I picked up Raichel’s pencil --> small “thanks”

-Emma offers me a ride home

-Someone holds the door open for someone else --> huge smile

-Can ALWAYS count on a compliment from Josh Owens and Nickie Chueng basically EVERYDAY to basically EVERYONE! --> everyone’s always wicked appreciative, you can tell it makes them feel good

-Another car stopped to let us pull out of a driveway first

-Guy held open the door for us at the movies
-Leaving the movies, someone let the door swing back, almost hitting Raichel's face --> Raichel jokingly yelled "ow" and laughed and the person who didn't hold open the door turned around and said something like, "oh my god, I'm so sorry! I didn't even see you!"

-Someone let me cut in line at Dunkin Donuts because they saw that I was in a rush

-The people I babysit for always order pizza for the kids and me, but this time the kids had already eaten, but they ordered one anyways in case I hadn’t eaten before

November 27 – December 3, 2011

-Someone held the door open for me and another person at church

-Lin (our Chinese exchange student) got little goodbye gifts for everyone --> crying (mostly because of the goodbye part though)

-The person I work in the church nursery with always lets me leave early

-Another car let us pass first --> my mom goes “hmm, I guess there are still a few nice people left”

-Ms. Trahan always picks up people’s trash outside --> no one appreciates it though!

-My parents planted my new license plate in one of my textbooks to surprise me

-At a cappella Ben always gets chairs for everyone

-A ton more door holding in the mornings before school

-Guy holds open the door for a teacher carrying a ton of stuff --> sincere “thank you”

-In Chinese everyone started giving everyone compliments!! It started with one, and then that person gave one back, and then realized another thing they liked on someone else, and another, and it just kept spreading, until as a joke everyone was just shouting compliments out at everyone else, like “I like your smile!” “Well I like your whole face!” “Well I love your face!” and so on… It was pretty cute. --> it spread!

-Nick Kerwin starts holding the door open for EVERYONE, EVERY MORNING --> people seem to appreciate it more since he’s actually just standing outside to hold it open for everyone not just whoever’s walking behind him

-I held the door open for a woman with a walker --> she actually didn’t do anything….

-After starting gender studies in AP US all the guys make it a point to hold open the door for the girls (mostly to be obnoxious haha)

-SOO many compliments from everyone for my new hair cut --> actually appreciated it SO much because I was unsure what people would think since it was pretty drastic (huge confidence boost that day! compliments go a long way!)

-The sub got Seth a chair for the computer

-Chris offered to pass out papers for Ms. Xu in Chinese --> big “xie xie!” (thank you!)

-My mom made hot chocolate for me at 5 in the morning on the morning of my road test
-For the order of who would take the test first, there was one kid who was last but was in a rush to get somewhere after, but no one ever offered to switch with him (including me...yikes)

December 4-10, 2011

-At church some random person just gave me this huge smile --> it’s amazing how much something as simple as a smile can do, just makes you feel welcome!

-Let me pass first at an intersection

-A bunch of people go to Amnesty’s “Write for Rights” thing; people really do care and want to make a difference!

-Solomon holds door open for people in English --> bunch of thank yous

-EVERYDAY Nick Kerwin offers to put the books back for EVERYONE in English

-Friends surprise me by coming to YUGA’s first meeting just to support me --> gave them hugs! glad that they were supporting me with out me saying anything

-Decided to take up Raichel’s “let one person pass in front of me a day” thing

-Sam picked up my pencil for me

-Someone held the door open for someone for the library --> they hesitated, but then held open the door for the next person!

-Every morning people in the gym foyer open the door for people coming in through the back since the doors are always locked (someone different everyday)

-Two people let us keep the change for Hope in Bloom when selling cards for photography club

December 11-17, 2011

-Kindness starts a young age! This little girl tried giving a toy to one of the crying babies, the baby took it and threw it in its fit, so then the girl picked it up and tried giving it to me!

-Person let me and another person pass first at an intersection

-Car slowed to let me and my sister cross the street to get to school

-Lina picked up Caroline’s clip that fell

-You said “bless you” to both me and Sam Alves in Love --> I realized that I hadn’t been recording saying “bless you” as a RAK and panicked! haha

-Bus driver lets a group of kids cross the street first --> the kids didn’t even give an appreciative wave! they just had a sense of entitlement!

-Lydia brought Allison tea at a cappella
-Sam and Lindsay both came into English late and were the only ones without a book --> Lindsay went up and got one first, but only for herself, and upon returning Sam goes, "you couldn't have gotten me one too??"

-Spencer got me a really thoughtful and random early Christmas gift even though I didn’t get him anything! --> huge hug! the thought really does count!

-Woman jogging runs into the middle of the street to move a branch off the road

-Woman gave up seat so my friends and I could all sit together at an improv show

-The people I babysit for gave me a surprise Christmas gift --> big thanks at the time and thank you note later

December 18-24, 2011

-Because people stop to let me cross the street every morning, I let these other kids cross the street (kindness does spread! reciprocity!) --> appreciative wave

-Matt goes around and gives every person a compliment at a cappella --> everyone feels good!

-Nickie helps me get gas for the first time

-Raichel sends me a “secret snowman” candy cane just for fun

-Someone flashed their lights at me to warn me of a cop ahead

-You give everyone candy canes after our AP US test

-Nick Kerwin took down all the chairs in English first period --> Mr. Sanford seemed to really appreciate it, nice thank you
-Josh's pencil rolled off his desk in Bio into the aisle and someone else could have easily reached it and picked it up for him but they didn't and instead he just struggled to reach it for a solid two minutes

-Seth dropped a Tupperware of strawberries on the ground and a bunch of people helped him clean it up

-My little cousin kept picking up toys and bringing them to different people

-Saw a ton of people giving to Salvation Army

December 25-31, 2011

-When my aunt found out I didn’t get a GPS for Christmas she just gave me one she had never used --> huge hug and big thanks

-Jacqui didn’t charge me at McDonald’s when she was working the cash register

-I brought Raichel a milkshake (which I ended up getting for free because of Jacqui!) since she had just gotten her wisdom teeth removed --> yelled in pain at trying to smile!

-Guy at the mall holds the door open for like a million people

-Girl at the gym lets this other girl have the last treadmill --> they fought over how the other person should take the treadmill for a while, and then finally one of them gave in, and seemed very appreciative

-Someone let me turn first at an intersection

-Raichel let’s a huge group of kids cross before she parked

-The ticket collector on the train didn’t have change for us so he let us ride free

-A girl on the train dropped some papers and two people helped her pick them up

-A guy bought a homeless guy a sandwich! --> “thanks, man, god bless ya” CUTEST THING EVER.

-When there weren’t any squirt bottles left at the gym for wiping off the machines, I saw a ton of people offering to share them with others

-Waitress at Olive Garden just knew our order and brought it over without us even saying anything! --> big tip! haha

-Payal dropped her wallet and a little girl brought it over to her --> HUGE thank you

-All MBTA things are free and AAA will pick you and your car up from any location on New Year’s Eve to lower drunk driving accidents --> I just think it’s great when companies are responsible like that- they don’t have to do anything about it, but they choose to anyways! they were loosing money, but saving lives essentially!

-Just walking down the street random strangers were just saying “Happy New Year” to everyone --> genuine smiles all around

-Man gives us directions when he notices were having trouble trying to figure out where to go

-A bunch of people as well as my friends and I gave spare change to a few people on the street --> all of which were extremely appreciative; each one of us only gave a little, but with everyone giving a little, it seemed to be adding up- we all got a sincere “happy new year”

-People offer to take a picture for us

January 1-7, 2012

-The woman who coordinates everything for the nursery doesn’t care that I was late to work and later sends me a nice email about what a great job I’ve been doing (so underserved!)

-Raichel offers to pick me up and drive me across town so that I can get my car

-Guy at Qdoba gives Raichel a free drink

-Brett calls me and wakes me up at two in the morning for a meteor shower because he knew I’d be interested

-Vani offers everyone gum --> when everyone realizes that they took all her gum they all try to give it back!

-Sister bakes a cake for her friends birthday the next day at school

-Someone’s glove fell out of their pocket in the hallway and someone way behind them (since multiple people saw it and didn’t pick it up) got it and ran up to give it back to them

-Emery gets English books for a ton of people sitting around her

-Erica asked everyone at the table if they had any trash that she could throw out for them

-Laura’s pencil case falls and basically explodes and maybe five people helped her pick stuff up --> it seemed like she didn’t expect people to help, so she had a huge smile on her face

-Raichel’s mom brought us popcorn randomly

-At McDonald’s the drive through person said there was no more ice cream since they turned the machine off, but when we went to pay this other guy gave us an ice cream saying that he had made it for himself right before they shut it off! --> Payal gave him a high five from the back seat!

January 8-14, 2012

-Dad offered to proof read my AP US essay

-Saw a girl pick up a piece of trash in the parking lot and throw it out

-Ilana got me a desk when mine was moved in math

-Someone let me take a left turn before they went since there were a ton of cars behind them --> appreciative little wave

-Bryan yelled at everyone for me when I couldn’t get their attention at YUGA and was getting frustrated

-At this genocide in Darfur meeting a bunch of people donated to help!

-At Mandarin Taste they gave Allison an extra order of scallion pancakes since she ordered so many for all the chorus members

-During our a cappella concert Matt and Josh gave special recognition to me since I was the only one not in chorus and said how they were glad I did it --> on stage I was so nervous since I always freak out about singing in front of people and that just helped calm me down so much; I really appreciated it

-Someone held open the door for someone with a lot of camera equipment for the TV/Media room --> big thank you!
-A teacher was trying to push a cart through the hallway, but kids were too busy trying to get to their next class and kept getting in the way as if they didn't even notice the teacher trying to get through --> teacher seemed frustrated

-Raichel offered to drive me to lacrosse because she knew I was going broke and low on gas!

-After our lacrosse game, a girl from the other team came up to us and apologized for all her illegal checks --> we stopped talking about how obnoxious their team was right away!

Being more observant of these random acts of kindness really did make me feel more optimistic about things; people are genuinely nice, Sharon High School students really aren’t that terrible, and neither is our generation as a whole I concluded. People actually really appreciate the little things like holding open the door or giving them a small compliment- which definitely gave me more incentive to make it a point to do those little things. Just doing the easy act of simply picking up someone’s pencil is met by a warm smile and sincere thank you, and from observing that I am starting to believe that “love actually is all around us”. It’s those tiny, unexpected, unnecessary acts that would remind people that if they would just pay attention.

Back to the dropped pencil example; it’s not like the person who dropped it is incapable of picking it up, and also the other person who picks it up was not caused any discomfort by witnessing someone else drop their pencil, so picking it up does not benefit them at all. The act is also completely unnecessary; no one asked them to pick it up or pressured them to, yet they still take the time and energy (although not much) to pick it up for the other person, and they do it gladly. Why is that? Because they’re a good person. Has basically everyone at one point or another picked up something for another person? Probably… making everyone a good person. And if everyone’s a good person? Then love must actually be all around us!

What might explain this a tiny bit better is that technically I lied; the person who picked up the pencil is benefiting in a way. They get that friendly “thanks!” or that appreciative smile that makes them feel good because they’ve made someone else feel good. And for that reason, I say that selfishness can be good, because is there really selflessness?? If everybody wins, I’m not really sure that there is. Being a strong believer in egoism, I think that people help others for that “good feeling” they get from it. Their desire to help is real, they want to put that other person’s needs first, but in the end it’s because they also gain something.

Most people I witnessed committing a random act of kindness were repeat offenders. Most people made it into my RAK journal multiple times, some almost everyday! These people are the altruists (or the closest a person can get to being an altruist, since I’m not sure I fully believe in the term). They are almost always thinking of others first. I’m sure that some of the random acts of kindness I observed were just being polite (which isn’t so bad, that basically means they have respect for that person), but I honestly believe that most of them were because they really wanted to- because they care.  That is not to say that people who didn’t make it in are selfish though. Things like the bystander effect create hesitation to help people sometimes, and other times people are just unaware of an opportunity to help. I don’t think anyone purposely didn’t help someone else, but due to a variety of different factors, they just ended up not. Doing projects like this though really make you take notice, not just of the people performing the random acts of kindness, but also of the people that could use a random act of kindness, the times where you could lend a helping hand. From recording all these, I noticed my own random acts of kindness increasing because I was becoming more mindful. Before I would hold the door open if I knew someone was close behind me, now I check to see if anyone’s behind me and make sure I hold open the door for them- just little things like that. There’s no more not realizing there’s someone coming in behind me, or thinking “they’re too far away, it will be awkward if I hold open the door for that long”; when you take notice, it actually makes a difference.

The random act of kindness that left the biggest impression on me by far was the guy giving the homeless man a sandwich. We were just walking down the street, and ahead I see a homeless man sitting on the sidewalk. Immediately I start to feel a little uncomfortable as I just always don’t know what to do when I pass them- I just am so good at making things awkward. I notice that a man holding two Subway bags is walking directly towards him- not past him, towards him- so obviously I was intrigued. He just walks right up to him and says something like “hey, how are you?- I hope you don’t mind, but I picked you up some lunch”. He talked really fast; it was obvious that he was uncomfortable too. The man just smiles and goes “thanks, man, god bless ya”, and I literally melted- it was just such a nice moment. At that point I was past them, and didn’t want to awkwardly turn around to watch them, but I think they shook hands. I just got like butterflies in my stomach- it was one of the nicest things I have ever witnessed. THAT just proves that “love is actually all around”- I just think that our issue is that we’re afraid to show it. Things like the bystander effect and your own tiny comfort zone should not restrict a person; that man was obviously nervous, but he did it anyways, and the man was truly grateful for just that small gesture. He didn’t end world hunger, or give him a place to stay, or anything crazy like that- he just brought him a sandwich, which is something that everyone is capable of doing.

LC Blog #9: Just Friends? Yeah, Right

Although I believe there are occasional exceptions to the rule, I do in fact believe that it is nearly impossible for males and females to be just friends. When you really think about it, at one point or another, the idea of something more has crossed your mind- even if fleeting, you’ve thought about it- thus increasing the chance for that friendship to fail. This I have learned though, is mostly the males’ fault. Originally I denied it- I would notice if my guy friends ever thought of me as a possibility for something more- but as we went through this unit, I realized just how wrong I was. In class and in the Youtube video “Why Men and Women Can’t Be Friends”, the pattern was clear: almost all girls thought male-female relationships were possible, while boys thought they were impossible; almost all girls said “no” or “it depends” for if they would hook up with one of their guy friends… and all boys? They didn’t even have to think, they all said they definitely would. In “Why Men and Women Can’t Be ‘Just Friends’”, Clifford N. Lazarus writes “…the vast majority of post-pubescent, heterosexual men will invariably have a sexual desirability “reflex” upon seeing a female of reproductive age. Thus the immediate discrimination that a male will make when encountering a female is whether or not he’d like to have sex with her. While some women might acknowledge this sexual “reflex” too, it is likely that they can quickly get past it and focus on the non-sexual aspects of the male with whom they’re relating”. In other words, it’s not just a stereotype, all males really do just think about sex. This just shows me that the whole “just friends” thing is normally just one-sided. For one of my previous exercises I posted a question on Facebook for whether or not people thought boys and girls could just be friends; 8 of 11 who answered yes were boys, and the only 2 who answered no were girls – I am now convinced that they are either lying to me or to themselves. (Mostly because of guys’ mindsets) intimacy always threatens male-female friendships.

Despite learning all this though, I still want to keep my cross-sex friendships because although this unit taught me a lot of negatives, it also made me realize a lot of positives to having friends of the opposite gender as well. I have two insanely close friends who are girls, and the rest are guys! And this unit made me question why. I thought about it a lot actually, and I realized that I just like boys better! Obviously I’m generalizing here, but they’re funnier, they’re less judgmental, less fake, more trustworthy (I feel like I can tell them things and not have to worry that they’re going to spread it to everyone they know!), less dramatic, and just less obnoxious! (And I’m a feminist!! What is this?!?) I actually had an exception to the rule (and the “had” part has nothing to do with sexual tension or anything!), a completely platonic (from both sides of the relationship) cross-sex friendship, and I just loved it so much because things were just so uncomplicated; no drama, no gossiping, no nothing. We were friends since we were born, we did everything together- then later in elementary school we grew apart since we went to different schools. Once in middle school together though it just picked right back up from where it ended and continued through high school, hanging out all the time and telling each other basically everything. This worked because we were more like brother and sister. As Sue explained in the article “The Sex Part: Can Men and Women Really Be Friends?”, “it would feel incestuous to ever be more than friends”. As stated before though, and as I’ve come to learn, most of the time when girls just want to be friends, that feeling isn’t mutual. Coincidentally during this unit, a close guy friend of mine asked me out, and I had to give him the whole “I only see you as a friend” speech. Rather than having this destroy our friendship though, it actually made things a lot better. In “Can Men and Women Be Friends?” by Camille Chatterjee, challenge #1 is defining the relationship, and once we did that, things were exponentially more comfortable. It definitely occurred to me though that it was quite possible for this friendship to fail, so I wondered: should I give up all my other friendships with guys? That thought quickly vanished though. Camille Chatterjee also wrote, “With men, women can joke and banter without any emotional baggage”, and a woman she interviewed said “Friendships with men are lighter, more fun… Men aren’t so sensitive about things”, and I agree 100%. With my two closest girl friends, I feel like we’re constantly picking things apart, analyzing everything, but with guys they just let things go, not everything has to be a big deal, and I need that sometimes. The pros definitely outweigh the cons- which I have proven can be overcome. Things don’t have to get awkward.

So cross-sex platonic relationships may be extremely rare, and cross-sex friendships may for the most part be ultimately doomed, but in the end I believe it’s worth it to have them anyways.

APUSH Journal #7: "Immigrants Are Destroying America"...Uhmm, Really??

I don’t believe Nativists have very much support to back up their argument; immigrants aren’t endangering the American way of life, they are helping to shape it! American culture, in my opinion, barely exists- everything we call American has most likely been taken from somewhere else. Let’s face it; we have always been, and will always be, a melting pot. We don’t really have anything that’s original or uniquely our own, but the fact that we are really the first and only country to be a little bit of everything is in fact, in a different way, original and unique.

Do we really want complete assimilation? Our culture almost depends on people not assimilating all the way. It is very difficult to measure if a person has assimilated or not, and thus there isn’t really strong evidence supporting either side for whether immigrants assimilate today. Many people believe that in the past immigrants have tried their best to “Americanize” themselves, but these days that is not happening. I, on the other hand, believe that the same amount of assimilation is occurring today as it did previously in history- the only difference is though that immigrants today are holding on to their own customs as well; they can balance both. For example, my grandmother grew up not even wanting to speak German, all she wanted was to be a “normal American”; in contrast, my best friend Payal, who is first generation Indian, said that “in a way I feel American because I speak a different language at home- I speak English to people who speak English, but I can also keep a part of me true to my heritage”. America is a mixture of a million different types of people, and I believe that we are starting to embrace that as actually a unifying factor. According to the article “10 Myths About Immigration”, two thirds of immigrants older than 5 years of age can speak English “well” or “very well”. Maybe instead of having their children only grow up speaking English, they’re also making it a point to have them be bilingual in whatever language they spoke in their homeland. Another good point in “10 Myths About Immigration” is that “the typical pattern of assimilation in the United States has remained steady”, it may have even sped up due to “public education and mass media”. I believe this because in order to be successful in the United States, people must assimilate to a certain extent. At the same time though, there isn’t nearly as much pressure to do so because our culture is becoming more mixed and thus more accepting, and our country really tries to accommodate everyone now. People are becoming capable of being both!

Nativists are also wrong because I believe diversity is a good thing. Do we really want total homogeny? When people are isolated from those who are different from them, that’s how bigotry is created. Conversely, by being exposed to differences, we learn about and understand other people better, and thus are able to live in harmony with them. We really don’t want immigrants to conform to what we want them to be! They help us by being different. America has become more and more tolerant and accepting of different cultures because of the huge amounts of immigrants living in our country. Pat Buchanan expressed concerns of the possible “balkanization” of the United States because of our huge miscellany of peoples, but I believe that by being so greatly mixed, we learn more about our similarities rather than our differences- our diversity unites us! Socially, immigrants, in my opinion, help America because they unintentionally make Americans more open-minded. Economically though, there is more than just my opinion to back it up; immigrants actually help the American economy! They keep prices low, take for the most part unwanted jobs (only away from high school drop outs, creating more motivation to attend college), and immigrants here illegally actually pay taxes, yet don’t get the benefits of doing so, and thus are just pumping money into the economy. Everybody wins! So, in my eyes, Nativists need to seriously rethink their position.