LC Exercise #3 Part 2: 75 Simple Pleasures

1.      Listening to music (LOUDLY)

2.      Singing

3.      Driving with the windows down and music blaring

4.      Sitting in the car with headphones and listening to all the songs that give you chills and just watching everything pass by in the window

5.      Cat naps

6.      Wearing my pink, fluffy robe

7.      Cuddling

8.      Walking barefoot outside

9.      Walking on the beach

10.  Getting buried in the sand at the beach

11.  Sand massages

12.  Feeling the warmth of the sun when I’m chilly

13.  Getting knocked down by waves

14.  Just floating underwater listening to the quiet

15.  Chocolate (and that first sip of water afterwards)

16.  Eating with chopsticks

17.  Eating yogurt by only dunking the spoon in, NOT scooping

18.  A night in watching a movie with my sister

19.  Watching a HAPPY movie with my mom and crying our eyes out together

20.  Venting to my mom

21.  Hugging my youngest sister until she finally breaks free

22.  The smell of paint

23.  The smell of a lawnmower

24.  The smell of an ice cream shop

25.  Long showers where you can just think

26.  Singing in the shower

27.  Showers in the rain

28.  Watching the lightning from my bedroom window during a summer storm (and the smell of it!)

29.  Talking about the news with my dad

30.  Just talking about our next family vacation

31.  Talking with my sister in a Russian accent (just being weird together)

32.  Dancing crazily to annoy my sisters until they join me

33.  Laughing until I cry

34.  Having a good cry with my two best friends

35.  Comfortable silence with my two best friends

36.  Pigging out and not feeling guilty with my two best friends

37.  Playing this game where every time you eat something (a Tostitos chip or a scoop of ice cream, etc.) you have to say something that’s been on your mind- absolutely anything!

38.  Attempting to pull all-nighters when we know we shouldn’t

39.  Getting in that state where EVERYTHING is funny

40.  Being in a situation that is so ridiculous and awful that you’re able to laugh about it right then, not later

41.  Making “to-do lists” and checking things off

42.  Cleaning my room every Sunday with music blasting

43.  Finding money or something I lost a long time ago that I forgot about in random places

44.  Lying in my UNMADE bed

45.  Playing soccer and getting in that state when you don’t even realize you’re running anymore and you don’t get tired (FLOW)

46.  Taking a hike and being the only ones on the trail

47.  Running through a field

48.  The perfect summer night

49.  Lying on the grass

50.  Lying in a hammock

51.  Falling asleep outside

52.  Cloud watching

53.  Stargazing

54.  Skinny dipping

55.  Being in a city (especially at night!)

56.  People watching

57.  Getting lost in the middle of nowhere

58.  Taking a walk as a slight breeze blows the colorful leaves around in the fall

59.  The first snow

60.  Just being outside (BIOPHELIA)

61.  Reminiscing about good times with friends

62.  Looking through scrapbooks

63.  Thinking about the future

64.  When the kids I babysit finally go to sleep

65.  When the kids I babysit try to have an adult conversation with me

66.  Acting like a kid with the kids I babysit

67.  Hearing a great song for the first time and NEEDING to know what it is

68.  Live music (the whole experience of it; dancing in a crowd, the energy, being in the same room and singing with someone you greatly admire, etc.!)

69.  Packing for a trip

70.  Being in an airport

71.  Having someone laugh at you because you’re a tourist

72.  Checking things off my bucket list

73.  Having that little revelation where I’m like “I’m happy”

74.  Making someone else smile

75.  ACTUALLY being funny

*(bold=completed that day)

This definitely brightened my day! Trying to do as many as possible was really fun, although some of my simple pleasures were a little rushed. I enjoyed all of the ones I was able to fit into my day, but a few of them, such as taking a walk or listening to music, require more time (I like spending almost entire days just blasting music haha). Despite this, I thoroughly enjoyed this exercise. Everything just brought that sensation of “mmm.. this is nice.. I really like this..”- and it was even nicer actually recognizing that feeling and fully appreciating it. I realized there were definitely some common themes here: music, which I knew already; being outside, which I don’t get to do nearly enough; and being with my family and friends, but also having some me time. This exercise definitely goes a long with many aspects of happiness and how to achieve it, but mostly it was just about appreciating the little things, and it worked.

LC Blog #3: The Bystander Effect

Scenario 1:

I think people would be equally likely to help or not help, a 4 on the scale, because many people would think that it’s their own fault because they were driving recklessly, but also many people would stop anyways because the driver or passengers could be seriously hurt and that’s more important. So even though a lot of people would believe they brought it on themselves, the seriousness of the issue might make them stop anyways to make sure the people were alright. If they personally were cut off by that car they would be less likely to stop and help, but others who merely witnessed it might offer their assistance more easily. Also, if one car pulls over, more might feel inclined to as well. (Or they wouldn’t feel guilty about not helping if someone else already is…)

Scenario 2:

I think people would be slightly more likely to help, a 3 on the scale, because many people would most likely know the teacher personally and be more inclined to help, and once one person bends over to help pick up a paper, almost everyone else starts to help pick them up too. If someone knew the teacher they would be more likely to help pick up the papers, whether because that connection they have with them makes them actually want to help, or if because later they would have to be in a class with them and it would be rude if they simply walked past. The reason I did not rate it as a 1 or a 2 is because many students would be in a rush, and thus less likely to help, and if that one person does not start it, most likely people will just continue to walk past.

Scenario 3:

I believe people would be very unlikely to help in this situation, a 7 on the scale, for many reasons. Just like the mother yelling at her child, someone might feel uncomfortable to intervene because it’s none of their business- Maybe the guy deserves it? Maybe this is just a one time argument? Because people don’t know the back story, many would hesitate to get involved because it could end up being something completely different than what they assume just from watching it. Also, in this situation it could be potentially dangerous for someone to try to help, so even if they really believed they should intervene, they probably wouldn’t for the sake of their own safety. There’s always the chance that someone would help though, maybe if they didn’t feel threatened by the men, or if they felt confident enough that there was a real problem they’d call for help. You never know; someone might recognize the men and know that they’re trouble, and understand better the seriousness of the matter, or maybe even know the man who’s in trouble and feel more eager to help.

Scenario 4:

For this situation, I feel that most people would not help, maybe a 5 or 6 on the scale. For something like this where a problem isn’t very recognizable, most people would hesitate to help. Also, seeing that others are not helping either would make people even less likely to offer their assistance. Specific, small details of this situation would also make people less likely to help such as the fact that he’s sitting (if he were standing and ready to jump off it would be very different), and that he’s over a river (sitting on the edge of a tall building with only pavement at the bottom would make it seem a lot more serious). When a life is possibly at stake though, there are always people who beat the bystander effect and take action anyways. If someone in the crowd happens to have some sort of experience with suicide, such as a family member or friend, or even themselves at one point, it would definitely make them more likely to help. And, of course, if someone knew him, they would definitely be more concerned and want to help in any way possible.

LC Exercise #2 Part 2: The Appreciation Project

School:
-I love learning

-I’m surrounded by people who also enjoy learning

-Makes me smarter!

-Have friends there (who I originally met through school)

-Opens up so many opportunities (possibly better college and job!)

-We’re a Blue Ribbon School!

-We have an incredibly diverse community

-Some people don’t get to have an education (think child labor!- or child soldiers!)

-In many countries girls are often denied schooling

-Just being literate is an advantage we don’t even realize!

-All the homework and tests and bad teachers are not really a big deal at all in the scheme of things

-This year I have all really good teachers

-The amount of work we have could be much worse (we value social lives, extracurricular activities, and creativity much more than many other countries)

Family:

-They love me no matter what

-I’m almost never bored or lonely with my sisters around

-I can be extremely weird around them and they’ll still like me!

-My parents try to give me everything and just want the best for me

-My mom is always there to listen to me

-Even when I’m not nice to them, they’re still nice to me!

-My sisters look up to me and my parents are proud of me no matter what

-My parents drive me everywhere, pay for basically everything, and take care of me constantly

-Everyone’s healthy!

-Some people don’t have siblings (some can’t have siblings! One Child Policy!)

-Some people don’t have parents!!

-I am who I am mostly because of them!

-Even though we fight, we always forgive each other eventually

Listing out why these things are so great and how lucky I am to have them definitely helped me appreciate them more fully. Especially when it comes to school, I don’t think I’ll enjoy it any more than I normally do, but I definitely won’t be complaining nearly as much. It really got me thinking about all the kids who are just struggling to survive and don’t even have time to think about getting an education, while I’m stressing out over how much homework I still have to do because I decided to go out instead of writing my lab report! It’s really insane when you think about it. 99.9% of the stuff I complain about is pretty trivial, and I’m extremely fortunate to have those things be the worst of my problems.

When it came to the family portion of this exercise though, pathetically, I had a huge fight with my parents the same night I wrote this. Although the fight was over the dumbest thing, I seriously felt like I hated them in the moment- but the next morning it was like it never even happened and everything was fine again. So that is why the last bullet point was written. It’s pretty unrealistic for me to think I’m going to try so much harder to get along with them and that we’ll never fight. In the moment I did actually think about all the things I wrote, but I still continued to fight with them anyways. It wasn’t until the next day that thinking about all the good things was actually able to change my mood. So believe me, I tried, but it was sadly unsuccessful; the small things still got to me. On a regular day though when I’m not in a terrible mood, or when we’re having a nice family moment, I think I’ll stop and appreciate it a little more than I normally would- it just won’t prevent me from getting into that terrible mood..

I liked this exercise because normally I’m the type of person who, when I’m really upset about something, will actually list out all the bad things about it (not because I’m pessimistic, but more just because writing out lists makes me so much less stressed; it’s just a way for me to organize my thoughts). This is the opposite, and is much more positive and productive. And although it may only prevent me from getting annoyed at some things, it is still just nice to have as a reminder when I do succumb to those negative emotions. The next time I start to complain about having to stay up late to study for a test, I’ll try to be thankful that I have a test to complain about! It really only means that the school system and the government actually care about my progress and want to make sure I’m really learning- it’s not designed to purposely give kids panic attacks. If that’s all we have to worry about, then that’s actually pretty wonderful.

In class we learned how much just being grateful increases people’s happiness levels, and this exercise definitely proves that to be true. If I said this made such a huge difference in my life and that everything’s changed now, I would be lying, but just making the effort to appreciate something fully certainly does have an effect on your happiness levels because it helps to eliminate the negative emotions that bring that level down. In short, being thankful will not make you a million times happier, but it is the answer to being content!

LC Exercise #2 Part 1: My "Legacy"

Everyone wants to be remembered for generations to come as someone historically significant like George Washington or Mother Teresa or the Beatles!- but most people go completely forgotten. The sad truth is that it’s not realistic for anyone to think that their life will have any meaning to anyone in the future. No one really has much of a legacy. I would hope though, that my friends and family would remember me as something special. And I also hope that I have made, and will continue to make, a difference in other people’s lives, however small and unnoticed that difference may be.

So far I feel like I haven’t accomplished a whole lot; I haven’t made any important choices, and I haven’t done anything all that extraordinary. In the future though, I want to be known as someone who has really lived. I want to experience a million different things- try skydiving, ride on an elephant, drive coast to coast across America, etc.! And I want to travel literally everywhere and maybe eventually work for an international aid organization. And although I have done more in my short sixteen years of life than most, there’s still so much more to come. It all still seems so far in the future, so I really don’t think my legacy has been created yet.

I’d hope that people wouldn’t just remember me as a good person, but as someone a little more out of the ordinary. As for my personal strengths, I think the people who really know me would maybe say creative, able to speak my mind, and extremely dedicated to whatever I decide to do. Standing up for what is wrong is really important to me. I’m a pretty flexible and adaptable person, but I’m always questioning things, and there’s always a point when I know it’s time to take action or speak up. Not compromising your identity to please others is another belief I stand for. I may be a little weird and shy and awkward, but who cares? I really hope the ones who don’t care about that, but care about me, remember me for all those things.

Once again though, I don’t really see any of that as worthy of being called a “legacy”- I feel like to have a legacy, you’d have to be much more outstanding than that and as out of the ordinary as I’d like to be, I know I’m still pretty ordinary. Maybe I’m just uncomfortable with the actual word “legacy” because it seems so big and important- I think a better term would just be “how you want/are going to be remembered”. For that, I would probably have to respond with slightly unusual- in both the good and bad senses of the word- exploratory, and passionate about life, whereas for “legacy”, I would probably say nothing!

In the future I want to be happy- not very original, I know. I want to be content with who I am and what I’ve done, but never satisfied, so I can continue to strive for more (in a good way, of course!). It’s not about success, but it’s about constantly setting (reachable) goals. I just want to continue to be adventure thirsty. I want to be wise, and influential! And, even if only miniscule, able to create positive change. Is being happy a legacy though? Of that I’m not so sure. But I guess if you’re truly happy, your legacy wouldn’t really matter all that much to you anyways.

APUSH Blog #2: Slaves' Right to Kill

Did slaves have the right to kill to secure their freedom? Normally I would argue no one has the right to kill, but I think in some cases it would actually be justified. I believe every slave had the right to rebel with disobedience or running away, but not every slave had the right to murder.

We learned cruel slave owners were actually the exception, and the stories of incredibly harsh punishments were fairly rare. The slaves who experienced this though had every right to kill for their freedom because not only were their rights as humans being ignored when forced into slavery, but they were also being brutally mistreated. If the owner was cruel enough to kill a slave, I believe the slaves had the right to kill the owner. In our brief class discussion many people argued “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind” or “they shouldn’t stoop to their level”, but when it comes to slavery, you can’t expect blacks to just passively suffer through it and not stand up for themselves. Has anyone witnessed someone else being whipped to death or gotten their foot chopped off for running away recently?? I don’t think we’re even capable of putting ourselves in their shoes- otherwise I think almost unanimously people would say they do have that right. In my eyes, it was necessary.

Some slaves were treated well by their masters- but they were still treated as another person’s property. Some may say that just from that fact alone, they should be able to kill for their freedom, but should they really have the right to kill someone who doesn’t know any better? Slavery was socially accepted in the South before the Civil War, it was an economic system they depended on- and even people without slaves still believed blacks were inferior to whites because that was just what they were taught. I always wonder if I had grown up in that time period if I would have been against slavery and racism, or if I would have been a part of it because it was just the norm. That is why if the slave owners were not cruel or especially inhumane, then I believe they shouldn’t be killed. If they were benevolent masters, their murder would not be justified.

Although rebellions should have avoided violence as much as possible no matter the lack of compassion of their owners, sometimes it was needed. Slave codes and efforts against slave rebellions made it extremely difficult to escape any other way than but to use aggression. Slaves were not allowed to travel without a white person present or permission, so if someone found them they would immediately be returned and face appalling consequences, so sometimes they didn’t have a choice. Any slave conspiring to rebel also received the death penalty, so to evade that, I actually think the use of violence is excusable. On the other hand though, slaughtering every white person in their path was not the answer either. Killing their masters is one thing, but killing whites who have nothing to do with it is another, especially considering most families even in the South did not own slaves or owned very few. I do believe though, that if someone was trying to recapture them and return them to their owner, they had the right to kill them because that is really the only way they would be able to remain free and escape extremely severe punishment.

It is very hard to know where to draw the line; although we try hard to study the subject, we don’t know what exactly went on and how it felt to be a slave. We will never fully understand how degrading and intimidating and restricting it must have been to be enslaved, so how can we say they should just wait for the North to free them? We have also learned about both loyal slaves protecting their masters and defiant slaves trying to poison their masters, so obviously some were good and some were bad. Because of this, it’s impossible to say all masters deserved to be killed or that none should have been. So, did slaves have the right to kill to secure their freedom? My answer: It’s complicated.

LC Exercise #1 Part 1: Top 5 Signature Strengths

My top five signature strengths are (1) appreciation of beauty and excellence, (2) leadership, (3) curiosity and interest in the world, (4) fairness, equity, and justice, and (5) creativity, ingenuity, and originality- surprising mostly because I didn’t realize “appreciation of beauty and excellence” or “curiosity and interest in the world” could be classified as a “strength”.

I also would never really describe myself as grateful or even as all that positive— normally when I’m being my most unenthusiastic and pessimistic self, people tell me how much positive energy I give off, and I’m always thinking “Where have you been? I was complaining the entire time”. And I don’t think it’s me not realizing it- trust me, once something annoys me, basically everything else does too- so I don’t really know if I completely agree with that, especially as my number one strength. The only reason why I kind of see that is because of my third strength, curiosity and interest in the world. When I’m even slightly interested in something, I tend to get extremely excited about it. Also, things like the universe, the world, and our existence are just fascinating to me, so that sort of makes me appreciative of them in a way. ^[1] I guess what I’m trying to relate it to is the quote “If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change”, meaning if we can appreciate the tiny little wonders of our world, we’ll be able to appreciate everything- Buddha had it all figured out.

I guess I appreciate things a little more than I realized, but besides that these all seemed rather accurate to me; I tend to like to be in control only because I have a hard time trusting anyone else to get it done the way I want it, I’m literally obsessed with traveling and I love learning and experiencing new things, I try to be as fair as possible I guess, and I definitely try to be different, so overall I agree with the test results.

I would like to think I’m authentic because I don’t feel the need to do things to please others. Obviously I don’t mean I don’t like to do things to make others happy, I mean I don’t like to be fake just so people will like me. I loved the quote, “We know our behavior is authentic when we can consistently say what we mean, do what we say, and say what is so when it is so”, and although I may not be perfect, I feel as though I follow that statement fairly well.

My actions, motivations, speech, and appearance are also quite consistent with my character strengths. I at least try to be true to myself in all aspects of my life, whether it’s stating my opinion on something or simply dressing the way I want to dress. The only area I can really think of that could use work is actually school life. I want to do my best and do well for myself, but a lot of times I also find myself trying harder than I normally would to compete with others. One of my best friends lives and breaths school- or more specifically grades- and at times I feel she has a negative influence on me. Most of the time I don’t really care how well I do on a test, I’m proud if I do well, indifferent if I do mediocre, and I laugh it off if I do poorly, but when I see how much she cares about her scores, I start to worry about mine- and I shouldn’t let that happen.

Otherwise though, I feel I’m pretty good at being me. Not to say that I’m this crazy non-conformist, but I definitely value individuality a great deal, which goes hand in hand with being authentic. I’m “unwilling to compromise [my] integrity in order to satisfy the expectations of others or win their approval”. And I’m proud of that.

^[1]Wow, I’m just so deep.

LC Exercise #1 Part 2: Random Acts of Kindness Log and Reflection

September 5^th (no school)

1. Two people let me pass first at an intersection

2. While searching for a venue for my best friend’s surprise party, even though people were having a family party in the room at the time, they let us come in and look around anyways

3. My sister and her friend made their other friend a cake for her birthday and delivered it to her house since she couldn’t hang out

4. Someone forgot their money for soccer socks and it was the deadline to get them or you couldn’t play, so someone who they weren’t that good of friends with lent them the money

5. One of the sophomores had to ride their bike home after soccer practice, and three seniors’ cars all slowed down to ask her if she needed a ride

September 6^th

1. Many people held the door open for each other if they happened to be walking in at the same time

2. Mrs. Gasman greeted all the girls dropping off their sports bags in the locker room

3. Someone’s brown bagged lunch ripped, spilling all over the hallway and numerous kids walking by helped pick the stuff up

4. Someone asked the person next to them to borrow a pen, and they said they could just keep it

5. When my team was picking our soccer uniform numbers, two people wanted the same number, but then they both fought over how the other person should have it, and eventually they both decided neither of them would have it

September 7^th

1. First period someone voluntarily took down all the chairs that were still on the desks when class started

2. Someone’s pencil case fell off their desk and everything spilled out and the surrounding kids helped pick it up

3. Someone at lunch in the courtyard purposely left a penny on the ground on the heads side so that someone else could find it and have good luck

4. Ms. Trahan picks up all the trash outside that kids leave everywhere everyday

5. Someone held open the door for me when they saw I was carrying a lot

6. My dad let some strangers in the parking lot with a flat tire use his jack because they didn’t have one

September 8^th

1. Once again, saw someone hold open the door for someone else on their way into school

2. My Chinese class is huge and there aren’t enough chairs for everyone, so multiple people offered to share their seats or sit on the radiator in the back so other people could sit down

3. During Eagle Block a few people drew pictures and funny notes to the other classes on the white boards

4. At lunch someone got someone else who was on crutches a fork so they wouldn’t have to get up and get it themselves

5. Someone else carried the person on crutches’ stuff to their next class

6. At a concert I went to the person at the door was about to scan someone’s ticket when they said to scan another person’s ticket first because they were really next, even though everyone was pushing and shoving to get in first

7. The bass player in one of the bands was someone you could tell was really shy and at one point someone in the crowd screamed “I LOVE YOU!” and the biggest, most genuine smile spread across his face

September 9^th

1. Altruism Club members held open the doors and greeted everyone as they walked into school

2. Someone’s pen rolled under someone else’s desk, and instead of just kicking it closer to them like he suggested, the other person actually picked it up for him

3. A freshmen forgot their cleats and a junior who had an extra pair let them borrow them for the game

4. During our soccer game the team we were playing was really aggressive, but this one girl on their team kept apologizing for them for when they knocked us over or hurt one of us

5. During my driving lesson, a motorcyclist behind me kept honking at me and I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong, but then I realized the instructor had left his binder on top of the trunk outside the car and he was just trying to tell me

Most of these random acts of kindness were small, probably forgotten a few days later by the receiver, but for a tiny moment they brought a grin to someone’s face or a little light to brighten up their day. Although some went unnoticed, most people were appreciative of these small acts, saying thank you or flashing them a smile. A lot of times people were surprised at people’s kindness; they didn’t expect it, which made it all the more special, but it also showed that people don’t think others care. When I told my sister about this project she asked, “How are you suppose to do that? No one does anything nice for each other anymore”. I don’t agree with that, but I understand what she’s saying, my generation seems to be more selfish and rude than ever- but not everyone’s that way. For example, I just assumed the motorcyclist behind me was trying to be obnoxious since I was driving in a “Student Driver” car, but really he was just trying to help me. It’s sad that we don’t think people are going to do anything nice for us.

Observing these random acts of kindness made me feel better about people. Our species can be pretty awful to each other, but this showed me that most people actually do have some kindness in them. Most of the time we wouldn’t even realize these events are happening, but when you look for them they’re there. And even though all these gestures were small, they add up. These random acts of kindness shouldn’t be so random though, we should make a greater effort to do them all the time. The more you help others, the more others will want to help you.

The random act of kindness that made the biggest impression on me was when someone in the crowd shouted “I LOVE YOU!” to the shy bass player at the concert I went to. He immediately smiled so wide and began to visibly feel more comfortable. Anyone could tell he appreciated it, you could read it on his face. It was a huge confidence boost for him, and his smile said it all. It was just a good moment. I didn’t really realize that an act of kindness could also be verbal- and showing your appreciation for someone or letting them know they mean something to someone- or simply making someone feel accepted, goes a long way. It was one of those instances when just witnessing it you also smile.

I’m not sure I completely believe it, but I would like to think “love actually is all around us”. I tend to have a fairly negative outlook on the world, but it’s things like these that remind me it’s not all bad. People care. Almost everyone has good intentions, and almost everyone wants to help out. The thing about a random act of kindness is that they make the donor feel just as good as the recipient- so in a way you’re always indirectly helping yourself. To tie this back in to our happiness research, I think one of the most sure ways to bring yourself happiness is to bring happiness to others- it’ll work every time. If more people realize this, the “actually” part of that statement won’t be necessary; it won’t be so surprising.

This exercise made me look more closely at people’s interactions. Sometimes I struggled deciding whether an act of kindness was really “random” or if they were close friends- but either way it made me pay more attention, seeing that people actually are a lot more considerate and compassionate than I thought. It also showed me that the small things I do will actually be recognized and I guess the whole point of the assignment was that we should all try to do random acts of kindness more often because even if it really doesn’t make that much of a difference, for a split second it makes someone else happy.